Saturday, March 16, 2013

Fifty Shades of F**ked up: a book review of Fifty Shades of Grey


“I’m fifty shades of fucked up”
 ~ Christian Grey


Synopsis: Anastasia "Ana" Steele is a 21-year-old college senior attending Washington State University in Vancouver, Washington with her best friend Kate Kavanagh, who writes for their student newspaper. Due to an illness, Kate persuades Ana to take her place and interview 27-year-old Christian Grey, an incredibly successful and wealthy young entrepreneur. Ana is instantly attracted to Christian, but also finds him intimidating.  Ana and Christian enter a sexual relationship while slowly building up to a  bondage/discipline, dominance/submission  relationship.


In all seriousness Fifty Shades of Grey brings nothing new to the table.  
You’re not missing anything.
What about the sex scenes? Nope, nothing new – and yes, I have read erotica and no there is nothing new/amazing/unique about what E. L. James has written. 
What about the S&M scenes?  There were only four S&M like parts.  Two were in Anastasia’s dreams and another was when Christian spanks her.  The last is at the end when Ana wants to have the full experience of what an S&M relationship would be like and gets beaten with a belt.
If you like this book that’s fine, you are entitled to like what you want.  I just didn't care for it.  I’ll go into why I don’t like this book later (the only pro I can give for this book is that if you like Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series you’ll like E. L. James books…which is basically Twilight and porn combined.  For now I will give you a short list of things you could do rather than read this book.

You could watch…

Every Dr. Who episode
.

All of Firefly.
Sex and the City series.
Game of Thrones.
The Walking Dead.
Or the news.

You could read…

Any fan fiction.
Any other Erotic novel.
A magazine.
A romance novel.
Anything by Amy Tan, Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, or Marquis de Sade (the father of   S&M).
You could also…

Go on Tumblr .
Clean your house/car/office.
Find a cure for any cancer of your choice and save lives.
Paint your nails.
Build a bird house.
.

My Verdict:
I've read the Twilight series and have read the first book in the Fifty Shades trilogy.  I understand that Fifty Shades of Grey was originally a fan fiction of Twilight, however, just because you change the names, the ages, and the city (from Forks to Seattle and Vancouver – still in Washington) doesn't make it entirely different.  Actions speak louder than words and Fifty Shades of Grey is a prime example of this old saying.  Bella bites her lips, so does Ana.  Edward and Christian stalk the female character whilst also showering her with expensive books, a car and a phone.  There were some differences that I liked, i.e. Ana doesn't shy away from Christian’s stalking and bossiness.  E. L. James even makes a few cracks about Mr. Grey being gay.  But a few laughs doesn't hide that this is Twilight for adults.   There’s also the bad writing (the over use of adjectives and adverbs), abuse of the thesaurus, poor/lack of character development, and the humorous descriptions (i.e. “my inner goddess” – E. L. James never explains this so I’m left to believe that it is Ana’s inner femininity).  
The only thing I enjoyed was the ending.  When Ana realizes that she and Christian are incompatible and she leaves.  Oh, yeah, spoiler.
But what bothers me, what really makes me dislike this book has nothing to do with what I’ve put above.  When a writer works hard on their novel, with little to no influence from other writers, and can’t get published but something like Fifty Shades of Grey can.  A fan fiction story where the writer changes the original character’s names, ages, and where they live, then passed it off as their own or at least in some way and in some form. 
That’s what really upsets me; why is it she can get published but people who are truly gifted, who write a novel without the aid of another writer or story, can’t?

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