I learned something today....

My last blog post, which was ages ago, was about books I wish had sequels to them.  Well, one of them does have a sequel, two in fact.  The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson.
Well, now that it's cleared up and I learned what the books were about I'm not impressed about the sequels.  Thinking about it now, I've learned the maybe Jenna Fox was better off without a sequel.  Instead it would have been better if it was extended.  I know, shoulda, coulda, woulda, the world keeps turning.  I just learnt of it today (yesterday? Since it's past midnight now and I'm in my PJs trying to stay awake like a big kid) and wanted to share the news.
Stay curious world and read a book!

Books I wish had sequels

Since I read a sequel recently I’ve been thinking of books that I wish had sequels to them but do not.  These books are standalones, or books that have no sequels to them (although one may have a prequel but I don’t count it).  So here are my top five standalone books that I wish had sequels.  Three of the five authors of these books are dead so there will never be a sequel for them - which makes the wishing that much sadder.

 

#1 – Gone with the Wind

Why should it have a sequel?  Whether you’ve read the book or seen the movie, we know Rhett leaves Scarlett after realizing she will never be the woman he wants  (he loves her but the love is never returned equally) and won’t hear her when she admits  she loves him too.  In the end of the movie and book Scarlett plans to go back to her childhood home (which she now owns) to fix herself up and make a plan to win back her husband’s love.  I would have loved to see how she plans this out, how she executes the plan and if Rhett will ever love her again and move back into the house.

#2 – Forever Amber

Even though I had a hard time reading the book I was still interested in knowing what happened next.  Sadly, the author had to cut the book down for it to be published.  Yup, Forever Amber is only 1/5 of what the author originally wrote.  My problem is why couldn’t she use that – if she could – to make a sequel?  Since Amber’s lover Bruce is married and he and his wife have their own child will he acknowledge that he got Amber pregnant a third time?  Will he let their son ever see his mother again?  Will Amber entrap another man into marriage in America?  What is this crazy, money grabbing, mind blowingly dumb girl going to do next? 

#3 – Blood and Chocolate.

One of the best paranormal/werewolf books I’ve ever read.  Seriously, it is amazing, that’s why I wish there was a sequel.  We left Vivian (and I don’t want to give away spoilers but…warning) kissing someone we didn’t expect.  My question is, now that her werewolf pack is leaving the city and going back to the country where they can be safe, what happens next?  What is their life like in the woods?  How does the pack function outside of human influence?  Does Vivian grow as the top Bitch (as in top female werewolf, the female leader) or does she have issues?  Do Vivian and her partner have a baby or do they wait against the wishes of their pack? Does her past come back to haunt her or is there a new threat?  See, so much could have been done.  Heck, we could have called it Sugar and Teeth, or Claws and Death, or – my favorite – Vivian’s Burden.  I would stand in line at midnight to get that sequel.

#4 – To Kill A Mocking Bird.

Um, hello, does this even need to be explained?  Harper Lee, you do not write one book and call it quits.  For goodness sake, God gave you a beautiful gift why the hell do you not use it?  Even if the sequel did not follow Scout’s point of view there were other characters we could have read about.  We could have learned something from another character in the town about equality between men and women, or abuse, or poverty.  Yes we get some of that in TKAMB but not that much.  Harper Lee could have been the voice of a generation. No, she could have been the literary voice of the century.  The only reason she may not have written another book (sequel or not) was that she didn’t want the high expectations or the fame.  Good for her for being humble but darn it I wanted to learn more about that southern town of hers.

 

#5 – The Adoration of Jenna Fox

Like Origin, this book is a science fiction / medical thriller.  Jenna Fox was in a car accident, lost her two best friends and is not like other teenagers.  Although the author wrote an epilogue telling us what happened to Jenna (kind of a spoiler alert); she finally makes a new friend, marries and has a kid.  She also decides when she is ready to die.  Well, that’s nice but I wish that instead of writing a short book with a clear ending the book had a sequel.  We could have seen Jenna helping her new friend, how her relationship grows, and how living in the spot light of the medical media (this happens in the epilogue, later in her life) affects her. 

Book Review: Fifty Shades Darker…and not much better

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse I picked up the sequel and have regretted it since.  This is all a rant.  There’s the short version and the long one.

Short Review:

Dear E. L. James,

Regarding the BDSM in your books:

Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Trilogy did it better.

And so did the movie Secretary staring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

Both these books and movie did it better than you.

Long Review Rant:

   We left off with Ana telling Christian that they were not compatible / she broke up with him then went home and cried.  It’s been five (yes 5) days without Mr. Grey and she hasn’t eaten since they broke up (okay, she had a banana and some yogurt…really?).  Even though she got a job working at a big publishing house and I can’t see her going without food during a busy lifestyle without passing out at least once. Well, it’s obvious – being that it’s a sequel – that Ana and Christian get back together…in the first chapter (okay, second chapter but let’s be honest, he had her again with those stupid flowers congratulating her on her new job).  Now they are back together. Oh joy *eye roll*.

So here comes what I call the weekend of the non-stop sexcapeds.  Yup, I flipped through that overdone plot point.  Don’t get me wrong, sex in a book (especially an Erotic novel) is okay but describing it over and over, one right after the other, I’m sorry but I’m not that sex deprived to care.  I will also admit that where the first book lacks in plot the second book tries, it’s a weak one but it’s there.  Christian has given up his BDSM lifestyle to be with Ana – which means they will be in a regular relationship having regular (Vanilla, or non-kinky) sex. 

   But that means his past has to come flying in like bats out of Hell heading to a Batman convention.  His first sexual partner, Elena / Mrs. Robinson, meets Ana and wants to talk with her.  Ana goes ah hell no on her and turns her down.  Then an ex sub(missive) of Christian’s shows up.  She’s gone bat-shit crazy and has a gun.  I know what you’re thinking... “Oh goody, there’s a plot”, I thought the same thing.  The idea was wonderful of E. L. James but she failed in the execution.  The suspension could have been dragged out, Ana could have been kidnapped, and oh-good-Lord-I-wish Christian could have been shot.  So much could have been done but she only uses it to cause a shift in Christian and Ana’s relationship – which is fine but only if used right and it wasn’t.

Gun Control:

   He is afraid his Ex, with a gun, will go after Ana so he tells her not to leave her work building during her work time.  What does she do? Yup, leave.  Now, just because Ana can go to work doesn’t mean she gets a break.  You see, Christian doesn’t like her boss.  Christian won’t let Ana go on a trip to New York with her boss Jack because Christian – somehow – knows that he is a philanderer.  By the way, her boss (after working there for a week and a half) makes a pass at her.  Basically blackmailing her to have sex with him.  She kicks him in the balls and Christian, magically, shows up and saves her.

  Anyway, so there’s this build up to his ex with a gun only to have her break into Ana’s apartment and act weird (she has a gun but nothing happens, she doesn’t try to harm Ana or herself).  Mr. Grey shows up (magically) and tells Ana to leave so he can calm the Ex down.  When Christian goes back to his apartment (where Ana went) they get into a fight where – and I shit you not – Mr. Grey, age 27, has a childlike fit.  He keeps thinking Ana is going to up and leave him again.  He gets down on both knees, and doesn’t say a word.  He manipulates her into being worried and entrapping her into talking to him and swearing that she won’t leave.  For the record this is what I get from it, E. L. James doesn’t have him think or say that’s why he did it but the way it’s written that’s how it sounds.  James doesn’t realize that she wrote her character to be a manipulating, dominating (no pun intended), and OCD basket case.

  After all this fighting what do they do? They have sex.  Yeah, let’s have sex because that will fix all our problems. *smack self in the face*

In which I have read another book involving incest:

  Christian admits that he thinks himself a Sadist because all the submissive he has are brown haired because his “crack whore” birth mom was brunette. Yup, you read right, he has an Oedipus complex (see page 329).  If you haven’t read my review on Flowers in the Attic, an Oedipus complex is when a male sees his mother as the most wonderful, beautiful, idealistic woman, lover and wife in the world or as the worst person ever.  Either way, according to Freud, he wants to have sex with her (NOT literally – it’s simply a psychological overlap of deep subconscious thinking).  Point is he is mad at his birth mom for giving him a poor childhood and not loving him.  So when Ana admits she loves him and breaks down in the first book after he beats her, he has an epiphany and decides to suddenly stop his lifestyle. 

   Aside from that, he also asks Ana to marry him.  Yup, after an emotional confession, and an emotional day, in the heat of the moment he asks her that (page 332).  But only after, days before this, asking her to move in with him.  Ana tells him she won’t move in yet because it’s too soon.  Um, you are having sex and admit you love each other, and only after so many weeks and now it’s too soon?  Later Ana ask to speak with Christian’s shrink Mr. Flynn to figure out if she should consider the proposal.  Long story short she gives him the benefit of the doubt of being a sadist / that he would want to go back to the lifestyle of BDSM.  By the way, more sex!

  Here’s my problem: she can’t see her friends.  He is a bratty teenage (mentally) boy.  Then we learn, thanks to his therapist, that Christian has had the best therapy in the country, but nothing can help him.  That is until he meets Ana.  This brunette, brown eyed, smart mouth, virgin (at least in the first book) who is insecure and bites her lip which makes him want to have sex with her IS WHAT CURES HIM?  He has had this shrink for two (2) years and she fixes him in two (2) months??????

   REALLY!????!!!!

   Come, let us frolic in this field of bullshit!

Almost done and still there's more:

  *sigh* Christian has a birthday party on Saturday, but he goes missing the night before.  It’s only been a few hours but let’s send search parties out as far as Portland!  It turns out his plane has crashed (fire to engine) and he…is still living?  We were given a montage (or is it quotage?) of the things he has said to Ana before he magically shows up.  When he enters the room after the crash we get this;

He’s dressed in just his shirtsleeves and suit pants, and he’s holding his navy jacket, shoes, and socks.  He looks tired, dirty, and utterly beautiful.

  Really? Your boyfriend was in a crash, he could have health issues but no, don’t get help, just stand there.  Well they don’t get help, because no one in an erotic romance novel may have coughing fits from breathing smoke in and nothing bad happens to traumatize people.  Now Ana and Christian are alone, he gets to open the present she bought him and it’s…a keychain.  But not just any keychain; on the back of this is the flashing word “Yes” as in “Yes, I’ll marry you.”  Guess what that means? More sex! And more of me flipping pages of “You’re mine” and “Oh, my inner Goddess” (Ana doesn’t say it but she thinks it and that’s bad enough).

The last chapters involve telling Kate (Ana’s friend) and both their families that they are engaged.  Elena shows up talking crap about how Ana can’t give him what he wants; and out of everyone she calls Ana a Gold digger.  Christian’s mom hears this and kicks Elena out of the house.  Then Christian confesses to his mom about Elena and him having an affair since he was 15 to 21.  Next, in the boathouse, Christian proposes in a romantic (hearts and flowers) way.  They have sex.  And then there’s some guy (Ana’s boss) staring at Christian’s parent’s house, smoking.

My Final remark on the whole thing: 

  Dear Lord, in two months they have had sex, are practically living together, confessed their love and want to marry.  And no family member thinks she’s a gold digger? Why is it it has to be the “villain” of the story – Elena/Mrs. Robinson – who calls her a gold digger? And why does no one try to stop them or tell them they are going too fast?   If this is love, true and unconditional love, then I don’t want it.

Note: E.L. James, I don’t like this Inner Goddess crap but make up your mind; is it Inner Goddess or is it Subconscious?

Page 205: This man – God’s gift to women – loves me. 

            God’s gift to women?  Translation: douchbag.

Page 234: Oh Fifty, Fifty, Fifty…give me strength

            He is not a God damn it!

Book Review: Belles by Jen Calonita

Belles by Jen Calonita

Synopsis (from the back of the book): Raised in a run-down house on the wrong side of the tracks in North Carolina, Isabelle “Izzie” Scott has always loved her less-than-charmed life by the beach. But when the grandmother she lives with needs to move into a nursing home, a social worker places Izzie with a politically prominent long-lost-uncle and his preppy, privileged family, taking her away from everything she’s ever known.

Unfortunately, inserting Izzie into the glamorous lifestyle of Emerald Cove isn’t going so well.  Her cousin, Mirabelle “Mira” Monroe isn’t thrilled to share her life with an outsider, and in addition to dealing with all the rumors and backstabbing that lurk beneath their classmates’ Southern charm, a secret is unfolding that will change Izzie’s and Mira’s lives forever.

My summary of the book: So basically Izzie grew up with her mom (no dad in the picture) and grandma.  Her mom died when she was 10 and now at 15 her grandma is getting Alzheimer’s.  A social worker sends her off to distant relatives; the Monroes.  Mira is a spoiled 15 year old brat, with an older step brother, shopaholic mom, and a tolerable six year old brother.  Also her dad is trying to become a senator and must keep the Monroe family name clean!  And then Izzie shows up which means drama, drama, drama.

Pros and Cons because I said so:

If you like Gossip Girls, drama, easy/little/no plot then here you go. 

Of the two main characters I enjoyed Mira more simply because she changes dramatically.  Izzie is quiet, and has dumb moments (seriously, everyone knows you don’t open a glass case at a store and take the jewelry out to look at).  Mira is who she is and when Izzie enters her life she begins to question things and change her life.  She has the big, dumb, jock boyfriend but starts to like an easy going, art guy.  She also stands up to her friends and breaks the mold.

Ultimately she and Izzie change places (in a sense) but to me I felt that for how fake Mira first seemed she felt more real because she changes.  Izzie changes too, she goes from shy girl, the I’m trying girl, I don’t care girl, and finally I have friends and Mira is the outcast girl.  That’s not changing your character it’s moving them from one position to another.  Are they really learning anything or thinking of others?  Not really.  Only once did I have respect for Izzie and that was when she took the fall for another girl whose family would have been shamed by the mistake she made.

Let’s not forget that Savannah, Mira’s best friends / the most evil heartless girl in the world, hates Izzie because she’s from the other side of the tracks.  Then there’s Brayden, Izzie’s male friend from summer…yeah, that’s Savannah’s boyfriend *dun dun duuuun* shocker.  Again, the only character I even liked was Mira but even that was only half-heartedly.

On second thoughts, what characters?  Cookie cut personalities with stereotypes.  A Cinderella story where we feel bad for Izzie, and only mildly bad for Mira.  Give me a break!

There were too many name droppings for me.  Gossip Girl; Harry Potter, Barbie, Disney’s Aladdin, and others that I can’t bring to mind.  I get that this book came out in 2012 but that doesn’t mean you can compare everything in your book to pop culture.  Some books work without the pop culture reference.  Why?  Because a book that has a few or no pop culture references means it’s a book that can be read by anyone, in the future, without stopping to look up what Gossip Girl or who a reality T.V. star is. 

Final Verdict:

I bought this book in December of 2012 while Christmas Shopping.  I thought it sounded interesting (Southern, scandal and family drama).  But I realized less than half way through the book that it’s a plot-less story for summer, a YA summer read.  The kind of book you take with you to the beach or when you’re waiting for your friends to pick you up to go shopping.  I honestly think the author sat down and watched Gossip Girl and thought “I can write a book like that but in the south with less sex!”

Oh and by the way SPOILER ALERT (if that even exist for this book) Mira’s dad, the politician trying to become a senator, yeah, he’s Izzie’s dad too.  O. M. G. like I didn’t figure that out from the minute they met and he’s all “You look just like your mother”.  Thanks Jen Calonita for showing me that I could write a predictable story with flat characters and still get published.  Belles; it’s a fun read but…yeah.  No sequel for me I think.

Thanks Jen Calonita but no thanks.

I'll keep reading books but I don't know if I'll go back to you.

HOWEVER...

I am reading the sequel to another book so stay tuned for that.  I'll give you a hint...

This sequel involves bad writing, an unhealthy relationship, and so much sex I had to flip the pages to continue the story.

Book Review: Origin by Jessica Khoury

Synopsis:  Pia has always known her destiny.  She was genetically engineered and bred to be perfect, to be immortal, by a team of scientists in a secret compound hidden deep in the Amazon rainforest.   There she is trained and given tests to show how perfect she is and to prepare her to join  the team of scientist in creating a new race of immortals.  This has been her dream – to have others like her.  However, one day, when Pia finds a hole in the fence surrounding the compound, she sneaks out.  Outside she meets Eio, a boy from a nearby village, and the two begin to piece together the truth about Pia’s origin – a truth with deadly consequences that will change their lives forever.

Pros:

Origin is rich in detail, both describing the daily life of those on the compound and the rainforest that surrounds it.  Even when Pia goes into the village you are given a sense of really being there.  The compare and contrast of life on the compound versos life in the village was juggled fairly well.  The overall story is a combination of science fiction, mystery, and adventure.

Pia is called perfect by everyone – except for Uncle Antonio who calls her Chipmunk – and believes this until she meets Eio and realizes that she is ignorant of the world around her.  This is because the scientist have purposely hidden information about the world.  Pia’s text books are often filled with blacked out paragraphs and pictures.  While she is well read in biology and amazing at physics and math, she doesn’t know music, art, or reading books for the sake of enjoyment – the horror!  Yet this is an interesting character trait.  It’s not often that we have a main character who doesn’t sit down to read and pass time (like most readers) but is busy doing something and thinking.  This is an active and driven character who we can admire.

As for the romance between Eio and Pia I’m happy to say that it is not intense or wild as the back of the book leads you to believe.  They are friends who have strange feelings for each other.  Pia has trouble understanding her feelings for Eio (especially since no one talked to her about romantic feelings, they only explained the hormones of sexual interest).  And this makes the romance one sided since Eio knows he likes her.  As for the sexuality it was surprisingly low key.  The most intense moment between these characters was when they were an inch away from kissing (for the first time!) but are interrupted (spoiler? Oops).  Screw it, the sexiest part is that they don’t kiss until the end and even that is not described but left in mystery.

Cons:

While I liked hearing what Pia did, I was bored with the explination of plants, animals, and the Latin names for them.  Then again, it’s a science fiction type of story so it has to have the science with the fiction.  I’m not much of a science reader so this was a turn off to me.  However that doesn’t mean it’s a complete con since many science fiction readers would love to read those things.  I did have a problem with how much bias attitudes were going on.  The first 1/4 of the book tell us how savage the villagers are and how amazing the scientists are.  Then the rest of the book is a combination of Pia not knowing if she should leave the compound and go to the village, and everyone talking about how bad the scientist are.  While Khoury does show why the scientists believe they are right the book just comes off as one sided.  Until of course you find out how evil the scientist are, after that I totally hate the scientist and wanted them to die.

The only other thing that is a con, not necessary for me but for others, is the matter of mixing similar DNA (incest).  I talked about this before with my review of V.C. Andrew’s Flowers in the Attic; incest isn’t an issue to me.  However, Pia was bred through incest and genetically engineered to only have the best genes.  Her own mother and father are brother and sister (and Uncle Antonio really is her uncle).  The scientist use in-vitro fertilization for this so no physical form of incest takes place. 

Final Verdict:

To quote Josh Sundquist’s description of Origin,

 “A lush, dreamy page-turner that will live forever in the hearts of its readers.” 

Origin is definitely a beautiful book full of details and knowledge that will make you feel like you’re learning as you read.  Although I had trouble reading when those pretty descriptions and knowledge came plummeting out I did enjoy the book.  Had I not received this book for Christmas I would have gone to the library to read it and that’s what I suggest you should do before buying it.  Origin is a good science fiction novel yet it isn’t something I’m crazy about.  I own it, I read it, and I don’t regret it.  In my world that is a good book; something that I enjoyed and I could go back and read years later and still have that same enjoyment.
This is diffidently a MUST read.

GAME OF THRONES

Season 3, first episode synopsis

First off word came out that this was the season that was going to step out of the order.  What does that mean? The first two season of Game of Thrones followed the books pretty well.  This season however will follow book three in a different way.  It will only take have of book three combined with a few things in the fourth – and possibly the fifth – book.  This means season four will follow the second half of the third book and may take half or a part of book four too.

So let’s begin with The Wall in the north.

Sam has escaped from the White Walkers (wtf?) and meets up with his brothers of The Night’s Watch.  He forgot to send ravens and there’s some pissed off and scared men in the group.   As for John, who has left The Night’s Watch, he enters the wildlings community and sees a giant for the first time.  May I say that his face was priceless!  He is lead to the leader’s tent where he is asked “why do you want to join” The wildlings.  And John answers “To be free”.  *buzzer* wrong answer.  So John has to explain what he saw in the previous season – he sees a White Walker – and that when he told his commander the commander already knew.  Well, John got pissed and that’s why he said F it to his brotherhood.  But really, even in the first season he wanted to leave, especially after he learned his father was falsely accused of being a traitor and was eventually beheaded.  Any who, John is accepted into The Wildings and will have his uniformed changed.

At King’s Landing:

Tyrion and his sister, the Queen, have a little chat over the battle from the previous season that Tyrion fought in.  The Queen mentions “I heard you lost your nose” but really he only has a cut across it.  In the book Tyrion really does lose his nose…well, I’m glad with that change to the story.  The queen is afraid that her brother will tell their father that she and her son, Geoffrey the king, have screwed up the kingdom.  Tyrion goes to talk to his father, explaining that since his older brother became a Knight – thus stepping down as the heir to his father’s estate – he, Tyrion, should inharet.  But his father says no, why?  Because 1) Tyrion is a dwarf and 2) because Tyrion’s mother died giving birth to him his father can’t be sure if Tyrion really is his son (and he is but his father doesn’t want him to be).  Also because Tyrion is known to spend time drinking and being with whores his father doesn’t want his estate to have shame brought on it.

 Tyrion

Meanwhile, Sansa and Littlefinger get their chat on about how she can escape King’s Landing.  Since the King tossed Sansa (his betrothal) aside for Margery, Sansa knows that she isn’t safe in King’s Landing and needs to escape.  Since Littlefinger was in love with Sansa’s mother when he was younger he wants to help her.  Frankly, although I haven’t read the third book yet, I think he’s being a creeper.  Just saying.

As for the King he sees how his new betrothal is working with the people to strengthen the moral of the people.  She is a natural politic leader and is a HUGE help to the kingdom.

 The king and his betrothal

Dragonstone…Yea?:

Davos survives from the battle of last season and is saved by a pirate ship.  He is taken back to Dragonstone where he goes to Stanas (the true king of King’s Landing – not Geoffery).  But Melasandra, Stanas’s priestess and lover, is there and she taunts Davos because his son died in the battle when the boat caught on fire.  “Death by fire is the purest death” she tells him and this pisses him off and he tries to stab her.  Stanas has him arrested.

Across the sea with Danny!”

Daenarys is going to a city to buy an army.  The army she finds is perfect yet there are two problems.  1) they are slaves and 2) the only way the soldiers become soldiers is to prove they are not human, to show no emotions, by killing a newborn baby in front of the mother.  Danny notes that there are 8,000 slave soldiers and that means 8,000 babies were slaughtered.  This makes her wonder if it’s the right move.  Since she was ruled over by her brother and by her husband (season 1 – both who are now dead) like a slave she doesn’t think it is morally right for her to have slaves, even if they are soldiers.  Then, apparently, those creepy dudes from The House of the Undying from season 2 are not dead.  Instead they are out looking for Danny and her dragons.  WTF?  But then Sir Basten shows up to scare off the Creepers and ask for Danny’s forgiveness (Danny’s father was King and Sir B was his Hand.  He wasn’t there to save him from being killed and was demoted to the King’s Guard as leader.  But then Geoffrey fires him and this causes Sir B to go to Danny and help her to get revenge on King Geoffrey).

Danny and the soldiers 

Okay, overall things look good but this first episode was not full of action – which is fine there was some drama but it was okay – but it’s too early to judge the season.  Like a book you can't expect everything to happen in the first episode, where would be the fun in that?

Fifty Shades of F**ked up: a book review of Fifty Shades of Grey

“I’m fifty shades of fucked up”

 ~ Christian Grey

Synopsis: Anastasia "Ana" Steele is a 21-year-old college senior attending Washington State University in Vancouver, Washington with her best friend Kate Kavanagh, who writes for their student newspaper. Due to an illness, Kate persuades Ana to take her place and interview 27-year-old Christian Grey, an incredibly successful and wealthy young entrepreneur. Ana is instantly attracted to Christian, but also finds him intimidating.  Ana and Christian enter a sexual relationship while slowly building up to a  bondage/discipline, dominance/submission  relationship.

In all seriousness Fifty Shades of Grey brings nothing new to the table.  

You’re not missing anything.

What about the sex scenes? Nope, nothing new – and yes, I have read erotica and no there is nothing new/amazing/unique about what E. L. James has written. 

What about the S&M scenes?  There were only four S&M like parts.  Two were in Anastasia’s dreams and another was when Christian spanks her.  The last is at the end when Ana wants to have the full experience of what an S&M relationship would be like and gets beaten with a belt.

If you like this book that’s fine, you are entitled to like what you want.  I just didn't care for it.  I’ll go into why I don’t like this book later (the only pro I can give for this book is that if you like Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series you’ll like E. L. James books…which is basically Twilight and porn combined.  For now I will give you a short list of things you could do rather than read this book.

You could watch… Every Dr. Who episode. All of Firefly. Sex and the City series. Game of Thrones. The Walking Dead. Or the news.

You could read… Any fan fiction. Any other Erotic novel. A magazine. A romance novel. Anything by Amy Tan, Stephen King, Ray Bradbury, or Marquis de Sade (the father of   S&M).

You could also… Go on Tumblr . Clean your house/car/office. Find a cure for any cancer of your choice and save lives. Paint your nails. Build a bird house. .

My Verdict:

I've read the Twilight series and have read the first book in the Fifty Shades trilogy.  I understand that Fifty Shades of Grey was originally a fan fiction of Twilight, however, just because you change the names, the ages, and the city (from Forks to Seattle and Vancouver – still in Washington) doesn't make it entirely different.  Actions speak louder than words and Fifty Shades of Grey is a prime example of this old saying.  Bella bites her lips, so does Ana.  Edward and Christian stalk the female character whilst also showering her with expensive books, a car and a phone.  There were some differences that I liked, i.e. Ana doesn't shy away from Christian’s stalking and bossiness.  E. L. James even makes a few cracks about Mr. Grey being gay.  But a few laughs doesn't hide that this is Twilight for adults.   There’s also the bad writing (the over use of adjectives and adverbs), abuse of the thesaurus, poor/lack of character development, and the humorous descriptions (i.e. “my inner goddess” – E. L. James never explains this so I’m left to believe that it is Ana’s inner femininity).  

The only thing I enjoyed was the ending.  When Ana realizes that she and Christian are incompatible and she leaves.  Oh, yeah, spoiler.

But what bothers me, what really makes me dislike this book has nothing to do with what I’ve put above.  When a writer works hard on their novel, with little to no influence from other writers, and can’t get published but something like Fifty Shades of Grey can.  A fan fiction story where the writer changes the original character’s names, ages, and where they live, then passed it off as their own or at least in some way and in some form. 

That’s what really upsets me; why is it she can get published but people who are truly gifted, who write a novel without the aid of another writer or story, can’t?